You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
