Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Randomize
