I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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