Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
