According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
