: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
