He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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