no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
