I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
accomplished twins. life is a go
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
