Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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