who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
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