You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
