Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
