Just mADE A PArabola og urine
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
