He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
