ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize