dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
