Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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