My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Randomize
