it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
