I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
