Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
