watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
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