I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize