i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
