I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
