I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
