They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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