He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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