woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Randomize
