Kiss
Puke
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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