The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
