She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize