i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
im drinking this country out of the recession.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
