spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
