By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
