can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
