he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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