Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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