Midget sex pt 2 tonight
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Randomize
