There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize