I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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