saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
