You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
