He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
