well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
