we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
