you turned your livingroom into a bong?
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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