I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
