I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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