i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
