So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
