The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
