dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
