I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
one might say we're banned from that church
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize