my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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