So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
