I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
