Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
