she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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