apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize