No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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